I need to work on my flexibility. Not just my physical flexibility (although I think I hear creaking when I fold into a forward bend), but flexibility in making my way in the world. You see, I’m a bit of a control freak. As in, if I were named Queen of the World, I’d sigh with relief and get down to business. Unfortunately, my crown has yet to arrive in the mail, so I keep learning to bend.
Luckily(?!?), I’ve had plenty of opportunities that have forced me to stretch (that whole sepsis thing was a pretty good lesson in not getting my way), but even with some serious practice under my belt, I’ve struggled this summer. We’re in transition around here, and even though the the vast majority of new things rolling our way are really good, whenever there’s lots of change, well, it makes me twitchy.
Right now our house is in a state of flux. And I’m not just speaking metaphorically. We’re finishing the basement and so have been living in a construction zone. Routine is nonexistent as we navigate workers and dust and deliveries. In an effort to stay out of the way, we’re constantly on the fly, and so my little homebodies and I are waaaay off our game.
Then there’s KJ who starts kindergarten this fall….a big change! And I get the feeling she’s anxious about it. Either that or she’s planning to crawl back into the womb. Apparently, there can be no. space. between. us. Yup, my normally chill kid now hyperventilates if we are not in constant contact. I’m doing my best to help the dear little worrier, but it’s difficult when she is glued to my face.
And now there are professional changes on the horizon for me. I’m getting back in the swing of things after a prolonged time out for sickness and kid wrangling, and I am alternating wildly between gleeful anticipation (I almost typed emancipation…Freudian?) and impressive bouts of panic.
Soooo….I guess I’m saying, I’ll take that Queen of the World crown now please. Let me lay down some serious rules (I decree all basements must be finished on time and under budget!), otherwise I’m stuck with this “go with the flow” nonsense and seriously, I’m just no good at it. Well, not right not now anyway, but I might, sort of, maybe, be getting a little bit better…..